Dear other people.

Do you sometimes wake up in the morning – that’s if you haven’t frozen to death or been eaten by a wolf – and think “what am I doing here?”

…and “I’m hungry”
…and “why is it dark and cold, then light and warm, then dark and cold again? Why won’t it just make its mind up?”
…and “what’s this lump under my arm?”
…and “where’s that guy who fell in the fire? I liked him”
…and “who are those people who look like me except they have tails and they’re huge and they walk on all fours and they go “moo?” Are they trying to steal my girlfriend?”
…and “why doesn’t that guy I hit over the head with a rock stop lying around smelling bad and being a burden on the state?”

Us too. So our idea is to build a huge thing out of stone.

None of us can draw or describe things but suffice it to say, it’ll look like a cross between this… okay…? and this. Pretty impressive, I think you’ll agree.

Put it this way. You know what a “Henge” is? No, nor do we, but we’re going to build one.

We’re going to build it over there. Where I’m pointing now. Hm. You’re not here are you? How can I be more precise? There. Over there, next to that tree. No? I really don’t know how to be any more specific. Er… Off the A344, in Amesbury, Wiltshire. No, that’s complete nonsense to me too. Sorry.

We don’t know what it’s going to be:

  • A temple for sun worship? We don’t know.
  • A healing centre? We don’t know.
  • A burial site? We don’t know.
  • Perhaps a huge calendar? We don’t know.

We’re hoping that the true meaning of this ancient, awe-inspiring creation will be lost in the mists of time. Or, in fact, now.

We’re going with a tough high-tensile stone sub-structure, clad in hard-wearing stone which will allow us to not have a sub-structure at all. Or cladding. It’ll all be stone. Stone windows will allow natural light to not pour into the vast inner circle, the purpose of which we really don’t know. How will we manage to carry the mighty stones from so far away and then, using only the most primitive of tools, build this amazing structure? You guessed it. We don’t know. And you didn’t guess it. Because you can’t read. And I can’t write.

If you’re as excited by this project as we are, you’re probably not being chased by a bear so come on! Get involved in a project that no-one will know what it is or what it’s for. And nor do we!

Five Virgins or over

We will bury some of your arrowheads and bits of old crockery around the place so future generations will know that you helped out on this project. Obviously, they won’t know who you are because we don’t have names and can’t write but in a way they will know. Although they won’t.

A Horse or over

You will have one less horse and we will have a horse. Everybody wins. Except you. And us. We will have a horse to look after. We will have to hope it’s attacked by a wolf.

A big picture on the side of a hill of man with a big erec …

Sorry. I’m a new guy. That last guy died. Well, he had a good run. He was twenty-three. What are we talking about? Building a big thing out of stone? Good idea. I’m in. Where do I donate?